speechless

. . .

cowo

yang

guwe

suka

ternyata

suka

sama

cowo

#?>_<!??._.??!!*##

merasa

merasa itu kadang nyenengin kadang nyebelin. merasa itu perlu dites ternyata. bener ga perasaannya? karena merasa itu melibatkan perasaan 99,99% dan otak sadar 0,01%. 

anak jaman sekarang bilangnya 'baper' ato 'bawa perasaan'. perasaan itu bagus klo yg dirasa itu dirasa bareng2 sm orang laen. kayak nonton film komedi trus ktawanya bareng2, denger curhat berjamaah bisa seneng ato sedih bareng2 juga, liat nilai ujian/nilai evaluasi bagus trus seneng bareng deh, ato kerja kelompok dipuji dosen trus bangga bareng, dll.. dll..

tapi klo lo hanya merasa yang sendiri kayak merasa lo dimusuhin, lo ga diperhatiin, lo ga didengerin.. nah nah... itu perlu dites. sapa tau lo lagi kena virus melongitis sampe hati lo tercabik-cabik trus nangis n sedih2 ndiri. ato lo lg hiperbola hepi bingits sampe semuanya jadi lebay tingkat dewa, kyak ktawa ktiwi yg lebih dari perasaan bahagia, sok asik..

bbrp hari ini, perasaan gw bikin gw beku, biru, bahkan lumpuh. gw brasa jenuh, flat, hampa, biasa, bahkan rasanya mending gue di shutdown aja. padahal, gw masih ada kluarga, kerjaan, bisnis, dll.. dll. masih banyak orang yg sayang guwe, perlu guwe, kangen guwe.. ya iyalaaahh.. 

soalnya, sampe pada titik jenuh yg parah, gw bisa tiba-tiba punya waktu yang pas bingits buat ktemuan sama sohib2 gw yg udah engga hang out bbrp taon.. pas Qt bisa pergi bertiga lagi nih, Qt masih bisa cerita apapun mlakukan kesalahan bahkan berbuat hal yg menyebalkan tanpa rasa takut ato ga enak. well, it was really good.. ketika asumsi bodoh itu ilang, ketika perasaan itu ga mendominasi lagi, dunia keliatan jelas bingits walopun saat itu malem hari n lampu penerangan parah.

lalu, gw pake otak guwe. owwhh, ini ni rahasianya anak muda (bukan gue sok tua) mereka berani tampil apa adanya, berani tampil memalukan, berani tampil salah krn ada orang2 yg selalu mendukung apapun yg mereka lakuin. bahkan mendukung melakukan kesalahan (ya kesalahannya yg wajar2 aja. jgn sampe bunuh ato nyopet!!!).

perasaan oh perasaan.

hari ini, gw tertempelak. saat pelayanan gue disorot sama pemimpin gue. heemm... tumben2an pelayanan guwe dapate pujian. apakah ada udang dibalik bakwan? heemmm..

blakangan ini gue berpikir kalo gue udah all out buat pelayanan gue, gue udah all in dan mungkin juga gue udah black out sm pelayanan gue. maaaann.... pelayanan anak. ngurusin anak maaann.. (ya iyalaahh).. bukan anak gue juga... klo anaknya bikin masalah trus tegur trus kelar sih gampang. ini abis ngomong sama anaknya trus harus ngomong juga sm ortunya ato walinya. blom tentu mereka terima laporan kita. bisa2 kita yg kena semprot. klo ortu ato wali pad engga terima ni, masalah bakal naik banding. trus kita lagi deh yang kena. trus bgitu curhat sama Tuhan klo kita kesel sm tu anak dan ortu/walinya, Tuhan slalu bilang, "itu anak Gue". nah, tau kan lo kalo Tuhan udah ngomong itu anakNya. trus lo bisa apa selain taat??

hari ini, pas pemimpin gue ngomongin yg baik ttg pelayanan gue (heran) serahin kita para pelayanNya ke tangan Tuhan dan appresiasi kita depan jemaat. saat lagu ini dinyanyiin

"betapa hatiku

berterima kasih, Yesus

Kau mengasihiku

Kau memilikiku

hanya ini Tuhan, persembahanku

segenap hatiku, jiwa, dan ragaku

sbab tak kumiliki, harta kekayaan

yang cukup berarti, 

tuk kupersembahkan

hanya ini Tuhan permohonanku

terimalah Tuhan, persembahanku

pakailah hidupku, sebagai alatMu

seumur hidupku". . .

gue sadar kalo selama ini mata Tuhan melihat gue, tangan Tuhan memberkati gue, hati Tuhan jatuh cinta sm gue, perlindunganNya sempurna buat gue... sampe gue nyadar klo semua yg gue berikan sama Tuhan ga ada apa2nya sama berkat yg Dia berikan buat gue. kayaknya, Dia ngabulin apa yg gue doain (almost all. doa gw yg lg marah2 n kga bagus ya kga dikabulinlaahh..)

mata gue melek. gue 'ngeh bingits' klo semua yg gue lakukan itu karena Dia yang mampuin gue, semua keberhasilan gue itu Dia yang kasih, semua ujian yg berhasil gue lewatin itu ya Dia yang ngerjain.. bukan guwe! WOW!!!

buta gue.. 

buta gue selama ini..

bodoh gue..

bodoh karena liat pake mata gue.

pas waktuNya Tuhan. 

Tuhan bukain mata dan pikiran gue. semuanya Dia bukain. SEMUANYA. DIA CUMA MAU BILANG KALO DIA SAYANG GUE!!! dan Dia ngerti klo gue terbatas dan ngerti sama keterbatasan gue. ga da penghakiman!! that was awsome!!!!

gue ngerti sekarang (dg keterbatasan gue). kalo Tuhan hanya mau berikan yg terbaik buat gue karena yg terbaik menurut versi gue pasti bukan yang terbaik buat gue versi Tuhan. yaa.. mendingan versi Tuhan kan drpd versi gue??!!

bersyukur banget buat hari ini Tuhan.

Tuhan, Kau baik bingits.. seandainya Tuhan kasih gue pilihan buat gue hari ini jadi apapun ato siapapun yg gw mau, gue akan bilang sama Tuhan gini,

"Tuhan, aQ mau jadi Ola yg Tuhan udah design dari awal. Ola yg mirip Yesus yg ga ada duanya di dunia yg special n slalu di hati Tuhan. Ola ga akan pernah tukar masa lalu ato masa depan Ola krn Tuhan ada di hidup Ola. Gimanapun dan apapun yg tjd sm hidup Ola, Ola seneng krn Tuhan ada disitu dan Tuhan akan tetep setia sama Ola. forever n ever!!"

gue emang ga sempurna, tapi Tuhan gue sempurna. gue emang terbatas tapi Tuhan gue ga terbatas. mending lo liat Tuhan gue drpd lo liat gue yg mungkin akan bikin lo kecewa.

Tuhan, gue bangga sama Tuhan. apapun kata orang tentang Engkau, apapun kata orang tentang gue, Tuhan pastiin Qt ga akan pernah bubaran yaa.. (believe)

hati gue udah bulet sebulet-buletnya. apapun kata orang, yg penting apa kata Tuhan..

i might can not love You as You loves me, dear God. but, i would like to be with You forever.. i believe, hell will be heaven when You are in it and heaven will be hell if You left it. so, take me whereever You are. with You, i am whole.. 

please take care people i love that mean so much too me and love those who hates me for they don't know wot they're doing. 

so, gue kapok deh. guwe ga mau baper lagih.. merasa-rasa.. heemmm..

perasaan tuh cuma perasaan bukan kebenaran. perasaan ga akan bikin gue dan lo kmana-mana. tapi kebenaran akan bikin gue dan lo disukain Tuhan dan manusia. 

simple letter

live happily by faith not by sight!

morning Holy Spirit

talking to U

in the mids of silent

when morning comes

bring peace

warm 

and joy

in heart

ready for today

and beat them all..

love You, Holy Spirit

k.a.m.u

entah kenapa kamu tiba-tiba terselip di mimpi. kamu dan semua khasnya kamu. padahal, kamu..

kamu.. 

dan semuanya jadi lucu.

semua yg ga mungkin jd mudah.

kamu.. 

dan semuanya jadi sangat ringan.

semuanya mudah, ringan, dan indah.

entah gimana,

sama kamu, 

rasanya setiap hari seperti hari libur.

kamu.. kamu.. kamu..

bahkan saat cuma inget kamu,

kyak smua beban keangkat.

hahahaa.. aneh..

strange!! 

even now I still can smell you

i even can enjoy your laughter

maaann...

simple thing called faith

Quote:

"Banyak yg ngetawain gw karena gw dianggap aneh, "cowo kok gamau deketin cewe. Penakut banget, malah ngejauhin cewe".

Don't get me wrong. I simply avoid girls because He will give the best for me.

Gw gamau ketika lagi deketin cewe 'yang gw mau' gw malah melewatkan cewe 'yang gw butuhkan' yg emang Tuhan siapkan khusus buat gw."

after you read, u are speechless aren't you?!

ga banyak orang yg kyak temen gw ini. punya 'faith' dan tau bener apa yg dia mau. yang pasti 'faith' kyak bgini bakal bikin pasangannya nanti hepi bingits krn tu cewe bakal dijaga spt menjaga hadiah indah dari Tuhan.

well, 

gw blajar hal sederhana yg sgt luar biasa dari 'faith' yg emg hrs kita lakuin.

bukan apa yg gw mau tapi yg gw butuh yg pasti bakal Tuhan kasih buat gw.. dlm hal apapun.

setia lakuin 'faith'

sampe tjd sesuatu yg nyata!

simple letter

simple is faith

HIS GRACE

Let God Do His BEST for us..

For we can't do any good in life.

Let God Do His BEST for us..

and we GIVE THANKS while we wait for His BEST..

ameeenn..

._.

when you can't see way out

when all is blocking you

when you can't even breath

...

God is very much near you..

it is always about YOU

Examine me o Lord..

from head to toe..

Let me live beside You

Never let me lose You no matter wot

You are my life, my hope

You are my all in all

No more fears nor worries..

For i know You are my stronghold, my Prince of peace, my Triumph..

It ia always been You

You and You alone..

You will bring me out n give me Your Victory, Your Honour.. and let my enemies see that my God is live in me.

I am so thankfull that You treats me respectfully like You treats Jesus. You see Jesus in me and love me like You love Him..

Teach me to respect You, honour You, and love You like You does to me..

I'm here looking at You, waiting for You.. for You alone..

. . . .

miss you..

already december..

almost christmas.

christmas tree not ready yet.

house is a mess.

look! dad put his books and papers in our living room..

if only you see.. hahahaa.. i bet you will grumble for days..

ow yeah.. you know that those 3 bad fishes are dead. hahahaa.. finally! i hate those bad fishes! you know i hate them, right..

me? 

i am casual busy.

many things to do, short time i have.

i miss you..

you really good to make us work welcoming christmas.

i like your beef steak, like your capcay, like your chicken, and all..

i miss all family gather in our house.

ow yeaahh.. i do..

i miss you..

i know we will meet someday..

i wonder how u look like right now.

do you ever remember me?

do you ever miss me too?

wot are you doing there?

are you busy?

do you still wisthel?

i miss you around..

i miss teasing you..

i miss you laughter..

i miss your smell..

i miss to hug you..

i miss to kiss you..

i miss get busy with you..

dad miss you too you know..

he is having a flu..

don't worry.. 

he'll get better..

i already told God i missed you..

well.. guess that's all for today..

have fun in heaven mom..

you are the best mom i ever had..

i love you.. 

thank God i have said "i love you" thousands time bedore your time.. and sometime i said it till you get angry with me.. hahahaa..

big hugs and kisses..

your daughter-OLa

there is no such thing like "i owe you"

morning.

suddenly come up in my mind.

'the truth is there's no such thing like i owe you'.. well.. that's new as i thought.

suddenly i ask God, 'is that true?!'. coz as far as i know, we human were thought to pay back all good things that everyone did to us, right?! right??!!

not long, i got this new understanding.

that human not suppose to owe to other human. if he or she did or do good things to others, it's because God use them as His tools to show that He is good for i or you. that's why we should thank God for everything happened in our life. yes! that is the reason why God make them do good to us.

and as return that we thank God is we should do good things to the one who did to us and to others also. why?!

so that others can feel God as we feel God when others did good to us. as simple as that!! YES!

because only God who has our heart, can change our character, and make us do good things. no human can do such things without a rewards. only God can. why? easy! it is bcoz He created us!

yup! yup! like the Bible said. 

if you want others treat you right, you better do it first to them.. maaaann.. wotta great understanding.. wawawawaa..

well, then i got this conclusion.. that is true.. no such thing as i owe you.. or pay back time.. but there will always i owe God and should do good to others. remember when we were sin? He died in the cross to redeem our sin and make us righteous.. 

finally.. let us do good to others because we owe God.

and not because we owe human..

ordinary girl

ordinary girl?

100% disagree with that words.

all girls are SPECIAL 👏😄

that's why i got many blessings different than others.. that is also why i got this problem not like any other girl have.. 😣

i'm in love..

yup! 🙈

not puppy love but real love..

i guess its true when some people said "don't use drugs but go in love!"

it's cause same effect, though. your heart beat faster, lack of sleep, loss weight, hard to focus in job, no appetite, etc.. yeah, it's funny to people but not to me n those who have it. 😭😭

well, i just cut it short!

i mess up! verry bad even madonna would like to give up sing n become single for life.. 

i tell u.. i've tried to make it better but come up even worst! oh man! it makes my life like an terorist. feels like to kill everyone that trying to help me but they just make it even worst!

tonite i make a decision!

i will tell the truth n nothing but the truth wotever cost!

i'm born as a winner

life as one

n will die as a winner!!

still wish for the best

and i believe it will come

sooner than i pray..

when i'm in love nextime,

i'll do it right..

so, help me God 😘

#responsible to my stupid act#

..will write u soon blog😘

terus?!!

ngajar lagi..

cmungudh baru menanamkan kebenaran demi kebenaran berkobar dalam dada..

pengamatan sekilas: i can handle it!

sesi doa: amaann!!

sesi pujian: amaann!!

sesi games: 2 pasang anak laki-laki bikin kasus!! mereka gw ajak keluar kelas dan kena kotbah panjang aQ. akhirnya, tentu saja aQ suruh saling memaafkan. biasanya mereka sangat rela untuk saling memaafkan daripada kena semprot aQ terus.

sesi kotbah: gikiran aQyu.

aQ masuk dan maju ke depan kelas. mataQty menyapu seluruh kelas. sepertinya mereka sudah siap. aQ menyapa mereka dengan kurang hangat karena 2 kejadian dengan 4 anak laki-laki tadi. untuk memulai diskusi aQ mengingatkan mereka missi gereja anakz semua murid mulai fokus padaku. keadaan sunyiii..

kerika tiba2 terdengar suara celetukan "terusss??.." spt "so wot??".. semua mata melotot padaku menunggu aQ mengamuk!

celetukan yg lucu n sangat berani! aQ hampir ngakak ktawa! ini ciyuszz!! anak itu menaikkan andrenalinku!! bhahahaa!! tapi aQ bisa menenangkan diri dengan baik. anak laki-laki yg suka sekali membuatku senewen. kreatif, berani, dan sedikit kurang ajar... hahahaa..

sometimes, bahkan disaat marah bahkan mau mledak sekalipun, ada hal yg masih bisa ditertawakan. hidup itu memang penuh keajaiban!

oiya.. 

tentu saja dy aQ suruh bertemu dg pembina lainnya. krn hr itu hanya ada aQ berdua dg jesmon, maka aQ minta dy ketemu dg jesmon. and you know wot?

jesmon itu sepupu dr anak itu dan mereka saling menyayangi.. bahahaaa.. can't say a word, huh??!!

simple letter

simple life..😘

i wish

i wish hard

from my heart i cried

i wish full hearted

for Your grace

i ask Your mercy

down on my knees

please take care

the one

that i love

i pray

special moment 1

as usual, today i mentor some children in my church.. i feel so lazy.. so sleepy 😣 but it's my job..  so, i let one of my team share about disciples things to them.. ahahhaaa.. clever me 😆😋

time goes by so slowly.. ⌚️ can't really focus to his words.. 😴 finally it's over n we have to say our prayer in turns in a circle.. somehow i fallen sleep in prayers 😴😴... i pushed my self to awake.. i heared children say prayer.. i thot my turn still away.. and i fell a sleep again n try to stay up but can't.. 

then i hear my friend next to me say a prayer.. 👼 i believe an angel wake me up.. before i say my pray, i must do a deep inhale.. so i did.. but suddenly i fart..

thank God none listening, i assume.. so, i do a little pray.. i got the last pray. as i say 'amen' someone asked.

'who do the fart?' asked jesse.

shame on me.. oh God! well, i had nothing to do but confess.. i just did my pray, right??

'i did.. sorry,' i said.

'hahaha.. it sounds funny..' she said.

huhuuu.. next time i better open my eyes when i sleepy in prayers.. don't wanna get fart for the second time..

thank God i was with those children not in front of someone i like most..

#wallofshamed-simpleletter#

good morning God :D

today i'm very happy..

although i'm having serial seminar this week,

i'm happy, you know..

and this happiness is different..

i feel You..

definitely YOU..

wish i can tell about You

to everyone i know..

i wish i wish oh i wish..

wishing, hoping, praying..

well, i'll do wot You say

and You will do the rest..

wish You'll be happy too, God

like me

my precious

my God

Jesus

#simpleletterloveletter#

patient

these days i kinda forget a word called "patient".. like a tarzan, i wanna hit someone before read them their rights.. why patient if i could just make my "moves"?? ahahahaa..

people oh people..

my oh my..

oh no..

"patient".. who create that kinda word? maaann... i can be totaly insane.. ckckck.. wellwell.. 

ahahahahhaaa..

wish i could be it..

may be must change my middle name to be "patient".. 

ouch.. ahahahaaaa..

you are my lecturer for me to get patient.. maaann.. this is really a crazy world to live in.. 

somehow... i got hope in heart for "patient"..

patient oh patient... 

let's be friends

together forever

ahahahahaaa...

s.i.m.p.l.e.  l.e.t.t.e.r.

patient is one od our inner beauty

it can be so powerfull in life

it's really working when you use it often

NICE DAY

b.o.s.a.n

yap. dimulai dg kebosanan.

lo lagi lo lagi.

e.m.o.s.i

biasanya berlanjut dengan emosi. knp lo lagi lo lagi. seandainya lo bisa gw sulap jadi ubur2.. 😔

k.l.i.m.a.k.s

aaaahhhh...

a.n.t.i  k.l.i.m.a.k.s

heng... apatis...

BB  d.a.n  c.h.a.r.g.e.r  r.a.i.b

sudah di angkot pulang.

cari di tas.

TIDAK ADA.

inisiatif tlp temen kantor spy cari di kelas tempat aku ngajar.

TIDAK ADA.

cari di tas lagi.

TIDAK ADA.

OH MY GOD!!!

WOT'S HAPPENING TO ME??

tlp temen kantor lagi. di lemari di kelas.

AQ PINDAH ANGKOT ARAH BALIK KE KANTOR.

tetep masih teleponan. minta tolong temen kantor tanya temen aku yg pake kelas setelah aku.

NGOMONG SAMA TEMEN AQ.

KETEMU!! 😍

stop. turun angkot. pas depan mall. masuk mall. updet iOS 7 pake wifi gretong. kga jadi balik kantor.

k.j.a.d.i.a.n  d.i  j.a.l.a.n

kelar dari mall, nyetop angkot. aku naik dan wanita muda seblah supir turun. tnyata wanita muda itu mw ambil uang di atm mall dan supir disuruh nunggu. kya naik taxi aja. bagusnya si supir nungguin.

aku yg baru naik kepikiran ganti angkot. tp second thought, aku memutuskan ikut nunggu krn musik di angkot itu asik. supirnya cukup berkelas. 

tunggu punya tunggu wanita muda itu tidak nongol2.. supir kecewa abeezz.. "klo ga punya duit ngomong kek. bilang mw ngambil duit ga nongol2.. saya ditipu prempuan.."

wow.. tnyata uang 3.000 sangat penting buat si supir. aku hanya ketawa kecil tp hati miris. heeemm.. wow.. 3.000 itu tnyata bisa mbuat hati seseorang kecewa.. 

saat2 blakangan ni mang aku lg bosen, emosi, dan heng.. tp HARI INI, aku blajar dr si supir. dia rela nungguin wanita muda itu walo kcewa. supir itu berjuang. lupain wanita muda itu dan lanjut kejer setoran. aku mw menghibur hatinya yg dilukai oleh seorang wanita muda.. aku kasih ongkos lebih. smoga, supir itu tau kga smua wanita penipu.. 

c.l.o.s.i.n.g

hatiku tersenyum.

dan aku berbisik lembut makasih Tuhan 😘 today such a nice day dearest God! 😊

UNDISSAPOINTED is FAITH

Tuhan,

hanya Kau yg mengerti aq

Kau bukan org yg pura2 care

Kau baik

Kau baik

Kau baik

walo aq ga ngerti 

Kau lg berbuat apa untuk aq

Kau baik 

saat aq susah

Kau tetap baik 

saat aq baik

Tuhan

taukah Kau

tempat yg paling kusuka

adl dlm pelukanMu

Kau baik Tuhan

saat aq tidak baik

dan keadaanku aneh

Kau Tuhan tetap

yg Terbaik bgku

Kau kanaanku

Kau kemuliaanku

Kau Allahku

kusembah Kau Tuhan

simple.letter

most of time 

i can't understand 

the way God working

but i do believe

faith is understand

ME heart IPHONE

this morning..

it just came up in my mind..

i realized that is

having an iphone 

really really really 

change my life..

well well..

things do things that i never done or even across my mind before.. hahahaa..

i got to do somethings such as up grading sofware gradually, hang out in a caffee shop for free wifi.. ahahaaa, buy things thru credit card (almost), etc...

never knew i'm the one who is doing this gadget things.. i was not really into gadget thing.

well well...

i actually proud of myself because i could done those things above all by myself.. i'm not as gaptek (slow in new hitech) as i'm thinking.. hahahaha.. i'm possible..

now there's iOS 7..

i must up grading my apple things.. 

well well...

suddenly it's clear to me that by the time my apples being up grading i automaticly being up grading in sort of things. hahahaa.. i think i like these kind of changes...

last one..

i want to share a quote that is become a part of me now.. 'in life there is no certainty. the only certain

in life is 'change' itself.'

simple.letter

change is the only one

KOTU (kota tua)

akhirnya, aku pergi juga plesiran keliling2 jakarta raya... wueedeehh.. jakarta bagus juga yaaa.. prikitiiiwww.. jeng!jeng!!

kali ini aku plesiran ke kota tua.. modal nebeng dan pinjem kacamata item.. selebihnya, make up dan pose.. ahahaheyyy... asik toh, enak toh, mantap toh?? ahahaa.. 

cuma kamu harus tetep siapin uang buat ongkos n makan. ongkos sih gampang.. tinggal naik kereta ato naik busway aja.. klo mau makan, banyak tuh kaki 5 yang dagang makanan.

oleh2 juga ada, oleh2nya nggak pake mahal kok.. misalnya: gw beli sepatu kmrn murah meriah hanya Rp. 40.000 dari harga Rp. 50.000,- huhuuhuu.. mungkin kalo agak ngotot nawarnya aku bisa dapet harga lebih murah lagi.. hahahaaa..

kalo mau foto2 di dalam taman museum djakarta oke tuh.. skalian menikmati sang museum itu ndiri.. cuma Rp. 5.000,- ada juga museum kesenian yang bisa dijadiin tempat foto2 di halamannya. kalo cuma halaman gratis. kalo mau masuk mungkin harus merogoh kocek juga. tenang... judulnya terjangkaw dan tidak mahal..  

lalu, apa hasilnya dari plesiran yang murah meriah inih??? ini diaaa.. eng ing eng...

depan museum seni rupa..

depan brick kedai kopi tiam

depan brick kedai kopi tiam

depan brick kedai kopi tiam 

teras depan museum seni rupa

taman gedung seni rupa

penyewaan sepeda, depan museum djakarta

oiyaaa.. favorit aku foto depan brick kedai kopi tiam.. itu bagus banget.. di foto dari mana aja jadinya buagus deehh.. 

nah, kalo kamu mau naik sepeda juga bisa.. tinggal bayar Rp. 40.000,- kamu bisa sepedaan sepuasnya. 

tips asoy buat kamu:

1. tempat ini cucok banget buat kamu yang hobi foto. dimana aja tempatnya pasti bagus fotonya.

2. kalo kamu emang mao foto, datengnya jam 5-7 pagi biar ga kepanasan. 

3. bawa minuman karena dsana panas bangets..

simple.letter

paling asik seru2an sama temen kamu di sini.. foto2 dg ekspresi yg terserah kamu.. abis itu, edit, trus pamer deh.. aseekkk.. aahahaaaa...